This here is a collection of some of the funniest MMA quotes I’ve heard over the years. Enjoy!

“You know Joe, When Matt and his brother Mark Hughes were growing up they would pound each other behind the barn!” - Mike Goldberg

“I want to fuck Chuck” - Wanderlei Silva

“My foot is very special to me.” - Giant Silva

“I’m gonna smash your little head” - Ken to Tito.. I think he’s the first person to ever refer to Tito’s head as being small.

“I came in here as a professional. That motherf*cker didn’t” - Ken Shamrock referring to Don Frye

“Matt Hughes beat me fair and square…I’m sorry, I’m still learning English; ‘fairly squarely.”- GSP

“The little eagle soars again!” – Mike Goldberg on Jens “lil evil” pulver

“I am impervious to all pain!” – Pat Smith, UFC 1, right before tapping out to a Shamrock heel hook.

“I knew i ‘urt ‘im, when he said aarg” – GSP on Sherk

“I am very confident this fight can go either way.” – Ken Shamrock

“Rampage looks so calm. Like hes going to the grocery store to meet some friends.” – Joe Rogan

“He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day and looks like a p*ssy today.” -Tank Abbott

Interviewer: Did you go college and what degree did you earn?
Cro Cop: Yes.

Bas Rutten: What’s the training routine like ? What’s the first thing you do in the morning ?
Giant Silva:Breakfast.

Mauro Ranallo: You’re right Bas, those are hard shots, I can see the bruising showing up on his right side.
Bas: Um, that’s a birthmark.

“I shoulda gone ta sleep.. but I tapped like a bitch.” - Ed Herman after his fight with MacDonald

Interviewer: Rampage, what do you see as the outcome of this fight.
Rampage: Man I ain’t got no crystal ball, I just got two regular balls, know what I’m sayin?

“You got kicked in the head.. by a kick.” - Ken Shamrock to some guy he was cornering.

“That’s Judo!!!” - Mike Goldberg after Karo Parysian pushed Drew Ficket down.

Interviewer: Do you own a pet?
Fedor: Yes, i have a turtle.

Needless to say, Rampage and Kenny stand out in this department. While the source of Rampage’s comments is his wit and humor, most of Kenny’s quotes can be attributed to considerable head trauma suffered over the y(ears).

I wonder what the heck is wrong with Goldie though. :P

Over and out.